with Lara Wilson
The place for all things
behaviour to illuminate
behaviour to illuminate
Don’t be fooled by those in the imitation game
We are all imitating someone.
For me in my younger years it was actresses, the cool kids at school and on tv. Then it become my colleagues who were successful, followed with speakers and presenters.
I would study them and then go about reproducing their qualities, style, demeanour and behaviours. When I look back it was largely how I shaped my personality. If I liked something I would add it to my repertoire.
I created a laser focus for what was liked, celebrated and revered… I was a collector - adding qualities as I would go.
And I was really good at it.
But at what cost?
If you look up the definition of imitation it says:
1. the action of using someone or something as a model;
2. to simulate or copy something else.
A lot of what we are taught is focused on learning through imitation. Example, in NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) there is a technique called “modelling” as a process for recreating excellence by modelling human behaviour - basically copying the behaviours of others.
The challenge with this is it’s often only adding more layers to your personality, obstructing the real you, what is true and the effortless (and authentic) expression from within you. Can you see the set-up here?
Imitation is reflected in the ‘fake it till you make it’ concept.
We take on identities of others when we look outside ourselves for validation, to be liked, to feel connected, to be someone, to be successful. Why, so as to not feel like a failure, to avoid feeling like we don’t belong and that there is something wrong with us.
And yet this is often the very thing we DO create; a feeling of failure, a sense of not belonging (unless we behave a certain way), and that something really is wrong!
Then in our dissatisfaction we continue our search and in doing so we slowly move further and further away from who we truly are… (from our gorgeousness that is innate in who we are).
If you think about it it’s almost the opposite of the onion theory, rather than peeling the layers back we are adding layers on. Until we have added so many layers of imitation we don’t even know the truth anymore.
We are lost in the many disguises we have assumed.
There’s no question there are people who have been highly rewarded for their imitations, and they will do everything to stay in character, as that’s what has got them to where they are… and there’s very little chance they will give that up - as ‘who I am without my identity'.. it’s a very scary contemplation.
And yet for others it’s so obvious that they are not being true to themselves. They experience social anxiety, awkwardness, often trying to live up to others expectations, to say the right things, to do the right things.. it’s exhausting, disheartening and creates despair.
The message here - don’t be fooled by those in the imitation game. Don’t compare yourself those who have forfeited their true self. As to model these persona’s is just madness.
Don’t let the world tell you who you are.
The path of self-discovery is not about adding more to become who you are, it's about unpacking and removing the layers of all that you have taken on that are NOT true to you!
Find your way back to who you are at your core; the glorious self that is authentic, self-aware, self-assured, aligned, connected, loving, powerful, strong, sensitive and sweet.
The world doesn’t need more fakeness - It needs you in your essence, your uniqueness, and your glorious shine.
With love, Lara xo (aka Miss Behaviour)
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Lara is an educator of transformation and change maker that not only provides the polish for you to shine; she also shines the light on the unspoken topics that we need to start talking about. Her unique style invites us to courageously invite change, disrupt status quo and reveal what is hidden to create profound revelations that enrich all aspect of our lives.